First, watch this video of Michael introducing this lesson:
Audio of Michael reading the lesson below:
Final Lesson: Contempt for Men, Masculine Insecurity, and the Experience of Being Male
Sarah finished reading with a gasp. She had this hum in her chest.
Like a pacemaker shocking her heart. Over the last few hours of reading she’d felt such a range of emotions. Happiness. Humor. Anger.
Resentment.
She sat there with a printout in front of her. All these survey results.
Some of them so juvenile. Some of them so stupid.
But so many of them felt so true. She flipped through the pages again.
She thought about all the men she’d known in her life. The fights she’d had. The broken hearts she’d endured. She thought about how pissed off she’d gotten when her first marriage ended and how she couldn’t stop hating Dan for years. Though now she couldn’t remember what she hated him for in the first place.
Sarah took a deep breath. “What if it’s all true?” she thought.
She thought about tonight. She was meeting up with this guy Tony for a drink. She didn’t expect much. He’d be an asshole like the rest of them.
Wouldn’t he?
She shuffled the paper in her hand. She looked at the little exercises she’d done. She wondered what she was going to do now.
And here we are…
If you’ve muscled your way this far, I want to congratulate you. I know that a lot of what I’ve said in this program has flown in the face of what you’ve been told since you were a little girl.
Honestly, this program was the hardest thing I’ve ever written. At several points, I felt this powerful urge to pull back, to lie, to cover the truth, to tell women what they want to hear.
But instead. . . here we are.
Going through this program, you’ve learned a lot.
In lesson 1 you learned that men are like dogs and you’re a bad owner, and that men simply aren’t like women in the way we communicate or how we look at the world. That so much of the suffering women go through in relationships comes from expecting men to be more like women.
In lesson 2 you learned why men lie, how emotional flooding paralyzes men and makes it impossible for them to communicate on women’s emotional level, and how to move past lies in your relationships.
In lesson 3, I taught you all about emotional castration and why denying HIS TRUTH destroys a man’s confidence, sense of ego, and attraction to you.
In lesson 4 you learned the answer to the question “does he love you?” in all its brutal truth. I also gave you 6 insecurity blasters to move past feminine insecurity and have better relationships with men.
In lesson 5 you learned why he looks at other women. I gave you a guided tour of what goes through my own mind when I look at other women and explained the simple truth about why men look at pornography (even when you ask them not to).
In lesson 6 I said that “ Yes, he would cheat on you, but he’s probably not going to.” We tackled some very difficult concepts concerning infidelity and cheating and tried to get a good mindset toward monogamy and if you can feel secure in a relationship.
In lesson 7 we discussed reflected glory: what your appearance means to him – why he does care about how you look and whether you take care of yourself, and what having an attractive woman on his arm says to OTHER GUYS about the man in your life.
And in lesson 8 we talked about what men want sexually. I broke the “bro code” to tell you about the kinks and desires that bubble beneath the surface and told you about the lusty beast inside every man.
So Now What?
Where do we go from here?
Honestly, I could write this program for months more and not cover EVERYTHING about men. But before we finish this up, I want to make one final point that’s the epitome of everything we’ve talked about so far. It’s a really simple statement, but it’s one that I want you to take to heart.
Ready? Here it is. . .
To Be with Men, You Have to Love Men (And You Have to Love Yourself as Well)
I spend a lot of my work day interacting with my customers and fans over email and on my Facebook wall. And one thing that strikes me is the bitterness and the contempt so many women have for men.
I’m not saying YOU do this, but a lot of women look down on men. They think men are damn sons of bitches, that men can’t be trusted, that men are basically evil and manipulative, and that men only want one thing.
And I hate that attitude.
I hate that contempt for masculinity, that belief that men should be different, somehow. The fact is, men are men. We’re big, hairy, grunting, angry, horny, marvelous, awful animals. And we’re the way we are for a reason (OK, some of those reasons went away with the mastodon, but hey.).
If you want to truly be happy with men, if you want to truly have a GREAT relationship with a man that fulfills you physically and spiritually and emotionally, you need to accept men for what they are. You need to love us for what we are.
That means getting over the fact that he doesn’t talk about his feelings and learning to read the little signals he gives you that he really does love you.
That means giving him the space he needs to be quiet and not talk sometimes.
That means realizing that what men do, what we say, and how we act only very rarely has anything to do with how we feel about the women in our lives.
When you go through the Secret Survey results I hope you’ll notice something. I hope you’ll notice how much insecurity men have as well. How men are scared of what you think of us. How much we want to be desired and wanted. How scared we are.
One thing I talk about sometimes is the experience of being male. What it’s really like to BE A GUY in today’s hyper-communicative world. It’s tough out there for a guy. So please, have empathy for the men in your life. Understand that we just speak a different language and live in a different emotional world than you do.
And use the stuff in this program to seduce the heck out of the next guy you meet. He’ll be shocked to discover a woman who actually understands what’s going on in his head. =-)
Best,
Michael Fiore
